What is ego, and how can I rise above it?

Sunil Patel -
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The word “ego” is used often, but rarely understood deeply. In spiritual terms, the ego is not just arrogance or pride—it is the false self, the collection of thoughts, roles, labels, and stories we believe to be “me.” It is the mask we wear in the world, the identity built on separation, fear, and control. But beneath this mask lies something deeper: our true Self, which is silent, aware, and connected to all life.

To rise above the ego is not to destroy it, but to stop identifying with it. It is to realize that you are not your thoughts, your emotions, or your image in the eyes of others. You are the witness behind all of these. You are consciousness itself, temporarily playing the role of a human being.

The Construction of Ego

The ego begins to form in childhood, when we start to see ourselves as separate from the world. We learn to define ourselves by our name, appearance, achievements, possessions, and social roles. Slowly, this mental image becomes our identity.

The ego thrives on comparison: “I am better than them,” or “I’m not good enough.” It needs constant validation, resists change, and fears vulnerability. It is easily offended, quickly defensive, and always searching for external approval. Its greatest fear? Disappearing—because the ego is terrified of not being in control.

The Suffering Caused by Ego

Most of our suffering stems from the ego: feeling hurt by others’ words, being unable to forgive, needing to be right, chasing status or success to feel worthy. These are signs of an identity built on illusion. The ego is always seeking, never satisfied.

But when we step back and observe these patterns, a new awareness begins to dawn. We realize: “This is not who I truly am. These are just passing thoughts and emotions.” And in that realization, the ego begins to lose its grip.

Awareness: The Antidote to Ego

You don’t need to fight the ego. In fact, trying to destroy it can become just another egoic act. Instead, bring gentle awareness to it. Watch your thoughts. Notice when you feel superior or inferior, when you react with pride or shame. Witness without judgment.

This witnessing creates space. And in that space, something deeper emerges: your true nature—silent, compassionate, and free. The more you rest in this awareness, the less power the ego holds over you.

Practices to Transcend the Ego

1. Self-Inquiry

Ask yourself, “Who am I?” Not to find an answer, but to dissolve the false one. Keep going deeper. Are you the body? The thoughts? The emotions? Or are you the one aware of them all?

2. Humility and Surrender

Let go of the need to be right, to win, to impress. Recognize that life flows through you—it is not controlled by you. Surrendering to life’s intelligence is not weakness; it is wisdom.

3. Compassion and Service

When you help others without expecting anything in return, the ego softens. Service redirects the focus from “me” to “we.” In that shift, love flows freely, and the ego has no place to hide.

4. Presence

The ego lives in the past and future. The true Self lives in the now. Breathe. Be here. In this moment, the ego cannot survive. Only awareness remains.

Signs You're Rising Above Ego

  • You become less reactive and more peaceful.
  • You stop taking things personally.
  • You feel connected to others, even in silence.
  • You don’t need to prove yourself.
  • You live from love, not fear.

Reflection

  • In what areas of your life does the ego most often appear?
  • Can you observe those moments with curiosity rather than judgment?
  • What does it feel like when you drop the need to defend your identity?

Rising above the ego is not a one-time event. It is a daily practice—a gentle returning to the truth of who you are. And as the ego fades, what remains is not emptiness, but fullness: a heart open, a mind still, and a soul at peace with all that is.

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